Can You Balance Subjectivity and Fairness in Relationships?
Written on
Chapter 1: A Childhood Anecdote
Allow me to share a brief story from my childhood.
When I was around nine years old, our school held a lottery for children, where the prizes consisted of used toys, and the tickets were quite affordable—all proceeds went to charity. One of my classmates, Gabrielle, won a Spider-Man toy that was missing a hand. She felt let down because she had hoped for a Barbie doll or a pony. Despite my lack of interest in the Spider-Man toy, Gabrielle was quite adamant about giving it to me. I eventually accepted it, not wanting to waste her effort or seem ungrateful.
Then, Tony, another classmate, entered the scene. Upon seeing the toy, he remarked that it was cool. At that moment, Gabrielle snatched the toy from my hands and handed it to Tony.
Whether Gabrielle preferred Tony as a friend or had a childish crush on him was irrelevant to me. What mattered was that I felt both of them acted poorly in that situation. You might argue that we were merely children, but I was also a child and wouldn't have behaved that way. They were fully aware of their actions, and that was what troubled me.
If we were to take this seemingly trivial childhood episode and apply it to adult behavior, we would observe similar patterns in grown-up interactions.
Perhaps I was brought up with strong values, or maybe it's just part of my character, but I strive to be fair. What frustrates me most in society is witnessing friends, partners, or family members failing to hold each other accountable.
Loving someone does not grant them unlimited rights over you. It doesn't mean you must always agree with them or defend them, especially when they are clearly in the wrong and someone else is completely innocent. That is not genuine love, and shielding them from the truth does not serve them well.
In critical situations, I prioritize those close to me, but I would never compromise my integrity or break a promise made to someone else for the sake of making a loved one feel good. If people truly care about me, they should respect this principle.
To me, fairness takes precedence over everything else. It is indeed possible to be fair while still having subjective opinions; however, doing so requires the strength of character to manage your biases.
Or at least, that's my perspective.
This reflection serves as my response to Ruby Noir's Deep Thought Prompts for June, prompt No. 8: What in life is truly objective? Is anything truly objective, or is everything subjective? Please elaborate on your views.
Join us at Read or Die and subscribe to the Read or Die Notice & Report Newsletter for significant updates and news related to our community.
Chapter 2: The Importance of Fairness
Section 2.1: Subjectivity vs. Fairness
In navigating relationships, we often grapple with balancing our personal views with the need for fairness.
Subsection 2.1.1: A Call for Accountability
Section 2.2: The Role of Integrity
Understanding that integrity is crucial in maintaining fairness can lead to healthier relationships.