Discovering Your Path: Conquering Jealousy and Embracing Change
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Chapter 1: The Weight of Longing
When you yearn for something that seems perpetually out of reach, it's natural to feel waves of jealousy or resentment towards those who possess it. This feeling can spiral into depression, mixed with frustration. You may find yourself asking, “Will it ever be my turn?”
Photo by Marcos Luiz Photograph on Unsplash
Seeing others achieve what you want, especially when you perceive them as less deserving, can be disheartening. In such moments, you often face a choice: succumb to anger or rise above it. As Seth Godin wisely stated, “Choose yourself and keep creating until someone can’t overlook you any longer. It may not seem fair, but it’s preferable to the alternative.”
Exploring Your Envy
When envy strikes, consider using journaling as a tool to unpack your feelings. Delve into the deeper insecurities that may be fueling this envy. Do you struggle with low self-esteem or confidence? Do you feel guilty for not achieving enough? Acknowledge these feelings and confront them honestly; this self-awareness can illuminate the path forward.
“Sometimes I go about pitying myself. And all the while I am being carried on great winds across the sky.”
— Lakota Sioux
While these words may offer solace, they can feel hollow in a world that values meritocracy. When others evaluate us based on achievements, the comfort from such thoughts may fade.
Finding Your Way Out of Envy
Feelings of jealousy are unavoidable, but you don’t have to dwell in them. Recognize your emotions without letting them evolve into self-hatred. Consider them as indicators of what you wish to change. Create two lists: one for what you want to eliminate from your life, and another for what you aspire to create. These lists can guide you out of discontent.
Engage in activities you love. Keeping your mind occupied with passion is a great remedy for restlessness.
It’s also valuable to compare experiences with others. Everyone faces their own struggles, including those you envy. You likely possess qualities or possessions that others covet. Embrace gratitude; maintaining a journal of things you appreciate can shift your mindset. I used to reflect on my day each evening, but I've found that doing it in the morning sets a positive tone for my day ahead. You may realize that your own grass is just as green.
Take a walk without distractions, immersing yourself in the world around you. Notice the beauty in your environment and the potential for creativity, even in less appealing areas. Focus on your surroundings rather than your internal dialogues.
Seek out laughter, whether through funny social media content or light-hearted films. Embrace humor, particularly when you feel down.
Giving back can also be therapeutic. Helping others not only uplifts them but can restore your own sense of self-worth. Make self-care a priority, regardless of your external circumstances. Feeling good about yourself can counteract negative thoughts.
Return to your passions. When envy arises, it’s easy to want to give up. Instead, reaffirm your commitment to your goals and continue pursuing what you desire.
Making It Your Turn
“I’m no longer sure what the question is, but I do know that the answer is Yes.”
— Leonard Bernstein
Embrace opportunities. Say yes to creating your own chances and to continuing your work while waiting for them. Focus intently on your goals; distractions can derail your progress. Just because someone else has had their moment doesn’t mean yours isn’t on the horizon.
Set aside your fears. As Elizabeth Gilbert explains in Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear:
“Dearest Fear: Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us, because you always do... But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.”
Key Takeaways for Day 12
Learn to manage your jealousy with these actions:
“Your turn to:
Ship. Speak up. Stand out. Build a following. Market a product. Make a connection. Solve an interesting problem. Write, sing, invent, create, ask a question, launch a product, organize a protest, open the door for someone, question authority, make a short film, direct, produce, create, or adopt. Learn a new skill. Help someone who needs you.
Be missed if you’re gone.”
— Seth Godin, What to Do When it’s Your Turn: (And it’s Always Your Turn)
Day 1: Create Real Change In Your Life This Month
Day 2: Declutter Your Life: Make Space for Your Goal
Day 3: How Do You Set Boundaries To Achieve Your Goals?
Day 4: Perfectionism Might Be Your Biggest Obstacle Without You Knowing
Day 5: You’ve Got To Learn To Trust Yourself Once And For All
Day 6: Reclaim Your Self-Worth
Day 7: Interrupt Your Negative Inner-Talk Right Now!
Day 8: Rediscover Your Personal Power
Day 9: Resistance Is Calling: It’s Crunch Time! Let The Fight Begin!
Day 10: Do You Need a Life Purpose?
Day 11: Show Up And Keep Going!