Resilience

A fundamental element of mental toughness is resilience—the ability to recover from difficulties. Resilience doesn’t imply a lack of negative emotions or struggles; rather, it encompasses the capability to manage challenges and learn from them.

Individuals with strong mental toughness can adapt to new situations, gain insights from their failures, and continue progressing.

For instance, if you dislike public speaking but recognize its importance for your career growth, you might choose to speak at an event despite an unsuccessful first attempt.

Will you muster the courage to try again, or will you shy away from it?

During the first few months of motherhood, many face overwhelming situations that test their limits. However, resilient individuals find a way to persist.

Nelson Mandela once said, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Grit

Grit is another vital aspect of mental toughness, defined as the determination to pursue long-term objectives despite facing obstacles.

If your aim is to become proficient in public speaking, you will relentlessly seek opportunities to improve, regardless of your current skill level.

People with grit possess a clear sense of purpose and are willing to endure short-term discomfort for the sake of long-term achievements.

When my daughter was born prematurely, I was filled with anxiety about our future. I hoped for her health, yet statistics indicated a 20% chance of potential long-term health issues.

During our time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), my mindset became paramount. It was essential to focus on nurturing her and being present, as even newborns can perceive their caregivers' emotional states.

Gritty individuals invest effort consistently, even when immediate rewards are not apparent. Winston Churchill famously stated, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Avoiding Overthinking

Mental toughness involves steering clear of excessive rumination on problems. Instead, it emphasizes proactive measures to improve one’s situation, even during moments of vulnerability.

It requires motivating oneself when feeling down and finding ways to calm oneself in triggering situations. Healthy coping mechanisms, like exercising or taking walks, can be beneficial.

In my case, getting a solid six hours of sleep was crucial, even with a baby in the NICU.

Infants born prematurely often struggle with basic functions like breathing and feeding and require constant attention. As parents, we learn that this journey is a marathon, not a sprint; prioritizing rest is essential for enduring the challenges ahead.

Alex Karras wisely remarked, “Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”

Focusing on Others

Mental toughness is not an exercise in self-centeredness. It involves uplifting others and providing support, which can also enhance your own well-being.

I find that when I focus on helping others, my mood improves. During our NICU stay, I prioritized my husband’s emotional support and engaged with the hospital staff.

At its core, mental toughness is a conscious choice—a commitment to live positively, overcome challenges, and keep moving forward, even in difficult times. And the best part? You can choose this path right now.

Roy T. Bennett aptly said, “Success is not how high you have climbed, but how you make a positive difference to the world.”

1. Reframing Negative Self-Talk

Individuals with mental toughness can transform negative thoughts into constructive ones. This is a daily practice to adopt.

For example, instead of thinking, “This will go wrong,” you might say, “This is challenging, but I believe things will turn out well, and I will do my best.”

Before my daughter’s birth, I asked my doctor about improving her health despite her early arrival. He honestly shared that medical interventions were limited but emphasized that “faith can” make a difference, which inspired me throughout our journey.

Maintaining a focus on what you can control is crucial for a positive perspective.

2. Setting Achievable Goals

Clear, attainable goals provide direction and a sense of accomplishment. My goals during my daughter’s NICU stay were straightforward: bonding through skin-to-skin contact and adhering to my pumping schedule.

Witnessing her daily weight gain was a significant success for me. This increased bonding positively impacted her health, including her breathing and feeding capabilities.

It’s also essential to check in with your emotions to ensure you’re in the right mindset for your loved ones.

3. Building a Support Network

Access to a supportive network of friends and family can foster motivation and bolster resilience. My husband’s unwavering support was crucial in caring for our daughter, along with our close friends and family.

Our daily walks, regardless of Toronto’s weather, have proven invaluable for our mental health, even in extreme cold.

4. Practicing Self-Care

Mental toughness doesn’t equate to pushing oneself to exhaustion. Prioritizing rest and self-care is vital for maintaining energy and focus.

For me, getting eight hours of sleep is sacred. Even a minute spent focusing on my breathing can be beneficial.

The 4–7–8 breathing technique helped me manage stress during my NICU experience and remains a part of my routine. In this method, you inhale for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale for eight, promoting relaxation.

5. Challenging Yourself

Mental toughness involves stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing new challenges. Approach these experiences with a mindset oriented toward learning rather than merely winning or losing.

I began writing in my first year of motherhood as a way to process my emotions. This activity sparked a love for writing and allowed me to approach it with a learning mindset, fostering my confidence and resilience.