I find myself pondering, "How do we truly let go of someone?" as I glance at my friends. They simply shrug, mirroring the shared heartbreak among us. There’s me, still reeling from a fast and intense connection, and my friend, whose situation is hanging in uncertainty, but leaning toward a similar heartache. Our male companion is also struggling, trying to recover from a significant relationship he believed would last.

As we stumble through this emotional maze, our other friends are indulgent, allowing us to pretend we’re enjoying ourselves and eager to meet new people. Yet deep down, we don’t feel that way.

"No, really," I insist. "We need to move on. We must stop fixating on them and start dating other people."

These words slip out, even though they aren’t what I want to say, nor do my friends want to hear them. The reality is, if we start dating others, we shut the door on the hope that our former loves might return. We all know this door—the one we believe could swing open again. By dating, we lock it tightly, ensuring that those we wish to forget cannot come back into our lives.

Yet, there’s a certain madness to a broken heart; we often resist healing. Perhaps it's because the permanence of moving on feels daunting. Our minds grasp the truth, but our hearts are reluctant to accept it. We cling to fantasies, envisioning scenarios where things could change in our favor.

Interestingly, shortly after my brief relationship ended, I found myself asked out three times in just two weeks. Maybe I was radiating vulnerable energy. But all I really wanted was my West Coast guy back.

I wasn’t interested in new prospects; my heart still yearned for my fleeting connections. However, those moments are gone for good. The best and most foolish decision I made was to engage in a short, seemingly fun relationship. Despite its brevity, I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything, yet I feel trapped in its aftermath.

I resolved to make a fresh start come January, allowing myself to wallow in sorrow until then. Fortunately, my two friends are also navigating the complexities of dating post-divorce. Together, we’re realizing that dating at this stage in life is even more perplexing than before.

It should be simpler. It should be straightforward. It should be less complicated. But alas, it isn’t.

The heart complicates matters, and as we age, life becomes messier. I grapple with how to move on from those we’ve allowed ourselves to become too attached to. While it’s understandable to struggle with letting go of a long-term spouse due to shared history and emotional baggage, it’s perplexing to feel this way about someone we barely knew but were inexplicably drawn to.

Is the attachment about them, or is it something within us? Does it stem from what they brought into our lives, or from what we were truly seeking? Were they simply the first to break our hearts after a divorce?

Answers may elude us.

They say time heals all wounds. And while it does, for someone like me, time requires a nudge. I must take action to forget a man who unexpectedly became unforgettable. It’s time to push past those memories.

I’m ready to say yes to a few dates. I intend to close that door… The very door I hesitate to shut.